The Tea on Good Sex──★˙🍓 ̟ !!

GASP.

The tea on good sex?!!
drum roll please!!!

a regulated nervous system.

When your body is calm and cool as a cucumber, you can access greater pleasure.

What’s it not? Fake relaxation, fancy moves and lukewarm picklejuice
What do I mean? Come with me..

You: at a "Hot Yoga for Stress Relief" class (oh boy).
What? Trying to channel your inner Buddha, or just.. stretch? Bet.
Who? The instructor, in a voice smoother than a freshly waxed surfboard, tells you to "breathe in tranquility and exhale your worries." (I can exhale my 5 parking citations???)

Meanwhile, your mind is doing mental gymnastics, thinking about those damn tickets on your dashboard and whether you remembered to reply back to your bestie’s 45-minute voice memo.

You're now in "corpse pose," ok?
Your "om" sounds more like "um" as you try to match the group's chanting.

But you're lying there in the scorching heat, stiff as a board, wondering if you're "corpse-ing" correctly while your "tranquil face" looks… constipated?

The class wraps up and everyone's looking blissed out.

You? You're just relieved you can finally scratch that itch on your nose you've been ignoring for the last 20 minutes in the name of "mindfulness."

Congratulations! You've just experienced the art of relaxation.

Lolz. I really love me some hot yoga, actually. Big fan of mindfully stretching in a microwave, but true ooey gooey relaxation isn’t found in a three legged down dog.

News flash: Good sex isn’t really about the moves.

Here's the tea on why a relaxed nervous system is your ticket to Pleasureville:

Parasympathetic bliss: Tea a-la-carte! When the nervous system is as chill as a monk in an ice bath and the body is truly at ease — the world is your oyster.

A relaxed state of being contributes to greater openness in exploring various aspects of intimacy, including kinky behavior. Your “hell no’s” become a curious “sure” when you’re feeling safe, grounded, centered and calm.

Breathing Magic: *cue in Every Breath You Take by The Police*

Syncing up your breath like you're practicing for the Olympics of chilling out or just mindfully taking deep breaths increases “the cuddle hormone” oxytocin, and provides an oxygen boost throughout the body. These bad boys help to maintain calm while enhancing sensation and connection during intimate moments.

Hell, you can even tap into next-level telepathic psychic fun if that’s your thing (because your neurons are literally mirroring! ← some science for my skeptics of magique)

Emotional Regulation: Less overthinking, more feeling. Psssst! When you're not stressing about every little thing, you can actually enjoy the moment. It's like turning off that annoying inner critic and turning up the pleasure dial.

You’re more likely to try new things without fear holding you back when your emotions are smooth sailing. Unleash your inner Dora.

Plusssss++++ When you're emotionally balanced, you can express your desires more clearly and receive instructions without feeling.. butt hurt?

No more “um sure babe that feels fine”
when it really doesn’t

and way more “can you lick me slower, baby? i love it when you do that thing….”

FYI: If you find yourself embarrassed about receiving instructions in the bedroom, here's a perspective shift —> It's a compliment that your partner is comfortable enough to share their desires with you. They are literally handing you their kryptonite.

See it as an opportunity to deepen your connection and elevate your intimate experiences. It's not just about following instructions - it's about building trust, fostering openness, and unlocking new levels of mutual satisfaction.

I encourage you to set aside any ego and stay open to their guidance. Listen attentively to their requests and commit to your sweetie's enjoyment.

After all, who wouldn't want to make their loved one feel even more incredible? Embracing these moments of vulnerability and communication can actually bring you closer together!

And finally,

Attunement: The secret formula. Eventually you create a connection with your partner where you are so in sync that you can sense and respond to each other’s emotional and physical needs without having to spell it out.

Attunement is when you're riding the same wavelength: both emotionally and physically.

It's like writing the A-B-C's in cursive, mi amigo - smooth, connected, and flowing naturally. It's not just a skill, it's pleasure on steroids.

Practically a superpower tbh.

So there you have it. It's the difference between reading sheet music and feeling the rhythm in your bones. Happy jamming :~)

Wishing you all more ooey gooey
pockets of pleasure,

Kat𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

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ᝰ.ᐟWhat’s Alive:

• Currently listening: Chuck Mangione on vinyl 🧏🏼‍♂️🎶

• Currently drinking: Intelligentsia Black Cat Espresso Blend - Home Pour Over ☕

• Lately reading: King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine 📖📚

• Lately obsessing over: collecting vinyl and listening to it on my new turntable 📻

• Looking forward to: a new camera cos it’s showtime, stay tuned! 🎬

• FYI: starting next week, the advice columns in this newsletter will exist behind a paywall for $5 (literally less than an oat milk latte). Your support would mean the world and help keep the lights on! 💌

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📚Resources & links:

• Curious about 1-1 work with me as a couple or an individual?
  ╰┈➤ book a free H2BH consulation here

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HERE 2 BE HUMAN, LLC
Somatic Relationship & Sex Coaching

PO BOX 403595
Miami Beach, FL 33140

here2behuman.com
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