the realest relationship advice i've ever read online

& gratitude!

Nov 29, 2024

Hey! Before we dive into that nugget of wisdom, I wanted to extend gratitude & say

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So0o0o THIS CAUGHT MY EYE: basically, the realest relationship advice i ever did saw! by Dushka Zapata👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼

A random user on Quora asked: I love my girlfriend but she drives me crazy sometimes. Most days I love spending time with her and other times the relationship just feels off. Should I dump her?

Dushka replied:

Relationships are hard - really hard.

They are everything. By everything I mean that within your relationships lies the meaning of life.

Relationships are full of purpose and of light.

Also, they are drudgery, and often darkness. They can be dramatic and volatile and untenable. And, worse - they can be tedious, boring, make everything feel old. I feel so old.

What makes relationships stick has nothing to do with saccharine tips like “never go to bed angry” or “make sure you respect date night”.

It’s more about the realization that you are flawed, that the person you are in a relationship with is flawed, that you will not always be happy, will not always feel love, will not always feel like you like or even know this other person very much at all.

Ugh. Who is this guy, anyway?

But there is something that sits above all this. Above you, above me, above love, above us. A foolish, obstinate, fundamental thing that against all reason declares “This is it. Whatever this turns into, I am going to stick it out.”

In other words, relationships that survive decades don’t survive because of love or perfection or wonder or because they are “soul mates” but because they accepted early on that the dynamic would be replete with ups and downs - and often for years mostly downs.

So sometimes the relationship feels like it’s on, so on. And sometimes it’s off. And sometimes I don’t even know what it is.

It doesn’t matter.

I don’t know if you should break up with your girlfriend, and neither does anyone else outside of you.

The real question, the heart of the matter, is this: is this the person you want to stick it through for, or not?

Only you have the answer.

What I can tell you is that if she is, if this is it, then be ready because your relationship is going to feel “off” a lot.

That’s what relationships do.

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Heh. Amen!

Con amor y cariño,
Kat𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

ᝰ.ᐟWhat’s Alive:

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